


It Is What It Is

by mayhem_olympia



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, I cried writing this, I'm so sorry, M/M, Thomas's POV, but there WILL be a second chapter, previous Established Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:22:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29958837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayhem_olympia/pseuds/mayhem_olympia
Summary: When Thomas gets a call from the hospital on his way to work, he didn't expect it to reopen all the old wounds in his heart.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson
Comments: 7
Kudos: 29





	It Is What It Is

It was possibly the worst time to get an urgent phone call from a mystery number. 

Thomas was halfway out of the front door, running through a mental checklist of all the things he would need to make sure Hamilton's proposal got rejected. Statistics he'd spent all night researching and printing out? Check. The speech he'd prepared destroying every single element of the proposal? Check. Fancy suit to psychologically influence the board members into thinking he was more intelligent than Hamilton? Check.

(He was more intelligent than Hamilton, but he wanted to make 100% sure there was no chance the proposal could slip through.)

He had been preparing for the past month. Ever since Hamilton had introduced the stupidest financial plan the company had ever seen, he had been preparing to make sure it got rejected.

Some small part of him knew that it wasn't healthy to be quite so focused on destroying Hamilton. They had broken up a year ago, and yet, he was still almost constantly on Thomas's mind. Just not in the same way. Although they had been rivals before their short-lived romance, it had only gotten worse. The company could barely hold an interdepartmental meeting without it turning into a shouting match.

Thomas knew it was for the best. If they had turned into worst enemies almost immediately after breaking up, they could never have worked out as a couple.

He shook his head, trying to clear it. It would do him no good to be thinking about his and Hamilton's relationship. Today, he needed to be one hundred percent focused on destroying the arrogant bastard.

It was then that his phone rang.

He didn't recognise the number, but that was normal. His family was a chaotic mess, what with his eight younger siblings. He accepted the call.

"Hello? Is this Thomas Jefferson?"

"Yeah, who is this?"

"It's the hospital. Can you come in?"

"Why?"

"We've admitted an unconscious patient, and we found a card in their wallet listing your phone number as the I.C.E. contact?"

"Of course. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"We don't have a name, but they're in room 43."

"Thank you."

He had just started the car when he realised. This must be Hamilton's fault. To make him miss work, so that his stupid proposal would get passed.

But there was a tiny chance it wasn't a trick. A small chance that one of his siblings could be badly injured.

He couldn't risk it.

He sent off a quick text to his boss.

_Hi Mr Washington, I got an urgent call from the hospital, so I will probably be a bit late today. Sorry for the inconvenience._

The response was almost immediate.

_Hi Thomas, no problem. Hope everything's okay!_

\-----------

When he got to the hospital, he gave his name and phone number before being asked who he was visiting, at which point he had to stop and think. Had the person who's phoned him mentioned a name?

Then he remembered the room number, and gave that instead. The receptionist waved him through, and he hurried along the pristine white corridors until he saw the door marked "43".

He knocked once.

"Come in!"

Thomas nearly had a heart attack. It wasn't any of his siblings.

Maybe he was just hearing things. He walked in.

Nope.

Not hearing things.

Alexander Hamilton propped himself up on his elbows.

"The fuck?"

Thomas frowned. "I could ask the same question."

"Jefferson? Am I hallucinating, or did the biggest dickhead in New York just come to visit me in the hospital? How did you even know I was here?"

All of a sudden Thomas could have sworn it was two years ago. Alexander could never ask only one question at a time.

"No, really. What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I got a call from the hospital."

Apparently, that was enough of an answer for Hamilton, who instantly started cursing under his breath as he rolled over to grab his wallet from the bedside table. After a moment, he produced a small scrap of paper with a flourish. "How the fuck do I still have this in my wallet? Fucking hell."

"You've lost me, Alexander."

Hamilton blushed and grinned awkwardly. "Ages ago, I wrote your name and number and put it in my wallet as my emergency contact. I thought they would've taken it when I got fucking mugged, but no."

"I- you got mugged?!"

He grimaced. "Yeah. Took all my shit. Even my fucking apartment keys. And the proposal I spent nearly a year on."

Thomas should have been relieved. If the proposal had been stolen, that meant Hamilton had to re-write it, meaning Thomas had more time to work on destroying it. But as Hamilton slumped back down into the pillows, clearly trying not to cry, he remembered.

How Alexander had always been a workaholic. But how, after they had started dating, all Thomas would have to do was say _please_ and Alex, his Alex, would always make time.

How they had worked together well into the night, both tapping away at their laptops, occasionally turning to the other for advice or a critique on a particular part.

How every time Alex had shown Thomas one of his ridiculously long essays, Thomas would look over it, pronounce it brilliantly written by the most brilliant mind in New York City and kiss Alex's forehead.

How Alex's eyes would light up in every argument, how they bounced off each other perfectly, sometimes even managing to change each other's opinions.

So as he saw a single tear roll down Alexander's face, and heard the whispered _"I worked so fucking hard on that..."_ , he felt a burst of compassion.

Alex was an arrogant dickhead, but he was Thomas's arrogant dickhead.

"I have it saved on my computer."

Alex slowly raised his head. "Really? You're not just fucking with me?"

Thomas smiled. "Yeah. I saved it when you emailed it to me."

Alex's whole face lit up.

"And you can send it to me?"

"Yeah," Thomas nodded, moving to sit on the end of Alex's bed.

"You'd really do that for me?" Alex said, his voice cracking.

Of course he would. He would do anything for Alex. Even if he wasn't Thomas's Alex any more.

"Who am I supposed to argue with, if not you?"

"Good point. No one else is quite as intelligent."

Thomas laughed. "Don't get ahead of yourself."

Alex scowled. "I'm right, though."

"No, you're not."

Alex pouted. "Yes, I am."

"That's not fair! You know I can't say no to that face!"

"I kn- wait, still?"

 _Shit_.

He changed the subject. "So what are you going to do about your apartment?"

Alex bit his lip. "I was thinking I'll ask Betsey for the spare key to grab my stuff, and then... I don't know."

"You could crash at mine? Only if you want, of course, if there's somewhere you'd rather-"

He was cut off. "I'd love to."

\-----------

Thomas stayed with Alex for the rest of the day. It was the first day either had taken off work in longer than they could remember, but of course, they spent far too much of it talking about work.

In some ways, Thomas thought, it was better this way. That day, they had been scheduled to have a meeting about Alex's proposal, which, in practice, meant Alex and Thomas arguing furiously about the pros and cons of the proposal.

But a few hours in, Thomas got out his laptop and brought up the document with the proposal in, and they talked through it together.

Alex was prepared to make a few concessions, to make things easier for Thomas's department, and in return, Thomas was prepared to concede that the proposal did have some elements which he could see the benefits of.

By lunchtime, they had edited it enough that they could both agree to it.

"Imagine what Washington's going to say when he finds out that we can both agree on my plan," Alex laughed.

"Yeah, how are we going to explain this whole thing to him?"

Alex laughed again, leaning his head on Thomas's shoulder. "Relax. It'll be fine."

"You sure?"

"Of course."

"We'll have to tell HR if you're staying at mine."

Alex shook his head dismissively. "Nah. You only have to tell HR if you're dating. It's fine."

"Yeah. Of course. Want me to go and grab lunch?"

"...No."

"Alexander I-don't-know-your-middle-name Hamilton, you need to eat lunch."

"Yeah, but don't go."

"How are we supposed to get lunch if I don't go?"

"I don't know. But just... don't."

Thomas grinned. "You're just leeching off my body heat, aren't you?" _Like you always used to. Sunday morning lie-ins. The two of us curled up around each other. Your constant reluctance to get up. Me threatening to pour ice water on you and never following through._

Alex smirked. "Maybe. So what if I am?"

_It feels like before. It feels like we're still us. But you just said we're not. So we're not. So why are you acting like we are?_

"Well, _I'm_ hungry. So I'm going to go and get lunch."

"Can't you just ask your intern?" Alex whined.

"I'm not even at work, Alex."

"But I want you to stay here."

Without thinking, Thomas kissed Alex's forehead as he got up. "I'll be back in twenty minutes, alright? Don't go anywhere."

Alex didn't respond, stunned.

\-----------

When Thomas got back to the hospital room, he sat back down on the end of the bed. "I remembered your coffee order _and_ your usual sandwich."

Alex grinned. "You're the best," he said, grabbing the bag and the cup.

"What can I say? I try." _For you._

"You reckon I'll be able to get out of here soon?"

"Please don't tell me you're hoping to go into work."

"Of course I am, Thomas."

" _No_ , Alex."

" _Yes_ , Thomas," Alex said, pouting.

Thomas shook his head. "That face isn't going to work. Not this time. When you get discharged, you're going to go home and lie down."

"Firstly, I can't - I don't have my apartment keys, remember? And secondly, no. I've been lying down all day."

"I get it, but seriously. I'll call Eliza, get your stuff, and meanwhile you can nap on the couch in my apartment."

"That's a terrible plan. I don't _nap_ , Thomas, I am thirty years old."

"I'm thirty-two and I take naps."

"That's because you're a loser."

"I fucking hate you."

"No, you don't."

"No, I don't."

"I know," Alex grinned, snuggling closer to Thomas.

"And I mean it, by the way. Even if you don't take an actual nap, I want to at least to rest. Okay?"

"You can't make me."

"Yes I could."

"How?"

"I could tie you to the fucking sofa and leave you there while I went to get your stuff."

Alex scowled. "You can't just-"

"I very much _could_ just."

"I fucking hate you."

Thomas laughed. "No you don't."

"Yeah I do. I'm not taking a fucking nap, Thomas."

"We'll see. It's possible you might have to stay the night at the hospital."

"No I fucking won't."

"You don't know that."

"If I do, promise you'll come back in the morning?"

"What about work?"

"Thomas, it's fucking Friday."

"...Good point. Yeah, okay."

\-----------

Thomas set a sleeping Alex down on the couch.

Despite all his protestations, Alex had fallen asleep in Thomas's car after being discharged. (Honestly, it was rather distracting when Thomas was trying to drive.)

One fun fact Thomas had forgotten over the past year: Alex sleep-talked, and it was absolutely fucking adorable. Not that Thomas would ever admit it. Alex was already far too big-headed.

Tiptoeing to the kitchen so he wouldn't wake Alex up, he dialled Eliza's number.

"Thomas?"

"Yeah."

"Is Alex okay?"

"He's fine, but his keys got stolen."

"I have a spare, if that's what you need."

"That's great. Thanks."

"Is he at yours?"

"Yeah."

Eliza laughed. "Never thought I'd see the day."

"Yeah, well, I couldn't just let him stay at his own apartment, not when a couple of street thugs have his keys."

"You're sweet, you know that?"

_Only for Alex._

"Not really. I just don't fancy the idea of being responsible for Hamilton's death. Even if he is an arrogant dickhead."

"Of course. I'll be round in about half an hour with the keys, that okay?"

"That's great. Thanks, Eliza."

"No problem."

He hung up, and went to check on Alex.

Still asleep.

Still absolutely fucking adorable.

That was a problem. 

Their relationship had ended not through choice, but because they had idiotically thought that HR didn't need to know. When Washington had found out, he'd given them an ultimatum: break up, or get fired. At the time, Thomas had thought that Alex hadn't fought hard enough for them. He supposed Alex had felt the same way.

Maybe it was true.

Maybe he hadn't fought hard enough for Alex.

As he went to change out of the suit he'd been wearing all day, he thought: if the same thing happened now, would I fight for him?

His answer scared him.

Yes.

He would fight for Alex. He would do almost anything for Alex.

But Alex didn't feel the same way, so that was that.

_"We only have to tell HR if we're dating."_

Although he hadn't said it outright, it still meant the same thing: _"We're not dating, and I don't want us to be."_

Basically, he was screwed.

\-----------

That evening, over dinner, Alex was fully awake and conscious. Obviously, since it was Alex, that meant many, many awkward questions.

"So why'd you offer to let me stay here?"

"As annoying as you are, I don't want you to die."

"Why'd you tell me you had a copy of my proposal? Wouldn't you want me to have to re-do the whole thing?"

"It doesn't matter why, but it turned out pretty well with us both working on it this morning, right?"

"I guess."

A pause, then:

"It's James, by the way."

"Huh?"

"My middle name."

"Oh."

"We should do this more often."

"What? Dinner?"

"Yeah. Or, you know, just hanging out."

"Sure."

Alex paused for a second before saying, "I missed you. When we broke up."

"I missed you too." _So, so much. I still do. You're right in front of me and I miss you so much my heart aches._

"I'm sorry."

"You don't need to be."

"If I could go back, there's a lot I'd change."

"Me too." _If I could go back, I'd fight for you, Alex, I'd never let you go._

"Oh?"

Thomas shook his head. "But we can't go back in time, so there's no use talking about it."

Alex blinked. "Yeah. I guess you're right."

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry too."

"But it is what it is."


End file.
